A Change is Gonna Come, Oh Yes It Is!

There was a R&B song by Sam Cooke which was turned into a gospel song by the title "A Change is Gonna Come." Of all of the things I experienced with my fourth ex-husband, one thing that I hold on to was him singing that song. It seemed to touch the very core of my being when he sang those lyrics because he put everything he had into it. It would bring tears to people's eyes and make them stand up because they were holding on to the belief that a change was going to come for THEM! And I believed that a change was going to come for ME! And it did. But it did not come magically. I didn't say hocus pocus. There was no abracadabra. It was a decision   and then there was action.

You see, I learned a long time ago that everyone in your life can teach you something. They don't have to get it all right to help you learn lessons. In fact, some of the best and most life-changing lessons that you will ever learn will come from people who got it the most wrong. Sounds crazy, right? But think about it. If your parents really messed up when they were raising you, then you learned what type of parents you didn't want to be.  It was through really bad relationships that you learned what you didn't want in a partner,how you didn't want to be treated, and how you didn't want to treat someone else. That in and of itself is half of the battle.

Next, if you are really honest with yourself, there were some things you learned about yourself that YOU needed to change to be better. I can be honest about my flaws and shortcomings and believe me I have had them and still have some but some I have corrected. Listen, when guys try to talk to me I understand some things. First, I understand that they are often drawn by my physical appearance. I may not be Halle Berry but I definitely am not Celie from the Color Purple (no slight to my sister Whoopi). I know that the physical can change. You can gain or lose weight. Your hair can break off or grow long. Or you can suffer from an illness that destroys your physical appearance. If that's why they're with you, then when it changes they will leave you.

So before they get all caught up in my beauty and the booty, I have to let them know some things. I am a mother of seven. I am very active and industrious. I am strong-willed and determined. I can submit to headship but I refuse to submit again to a man whose headship I can not respect. I am spoiled. Yes, I said it. I am spoiled, but I also love to spoil my man. I don't take a long time to make decisions nor to act on my decisions. I am very spiritual and I don't apologize for the anointing that is on my life to minister to people. I am giving and loving unapologetically. Some of the same traits that can draw a person to me can be the same ones that push them away. I am ALL of those things and so much more.

But I was an insecure and hurt woman who was too clingy and too needy even though I was a lot of wonderful things as well. It took some time for me to really understand all of those things about myself and decide what I needed to work on because I wanted to be better and not to keep or get a man. The man that I dated during that time went through a lot of changes with me that I couldn't appreciate at the time, but looking back I saw that I would have gotten on my nerves so I understood me getting on his. I didn't change to keep him or to get him. He was never one of my four husbands, but I have always and will always love him because I learned so much through the good and bad of our relationship.  But I knew a change was gonna come and it did.

I changed because I wanted to be better, whole, and complete. I continue to change so that I am in a constant state of becoming better, wiser, and stronger.  A change is gonna come because it has to come. It has to come because I refuse to be the me of 2010 in 2011. I was good but I must be gooder. If you believe that a change is gonna come, then make sure that it does by doing what YOU have to DO! Reflect, examine, adjust,  and improve. A change is gonna come, oh yes it is, but you have to do the work!

For more timeless lessons and endless wisdom, visit http://www.drveronicaglass.com/and purchase your copy of Use Your Buckets: Twelve Life Lessons for Success. This book was featured on The Balancing Act on Lifetime. See the interview on national television on January 5th @6 am CST/7am EST. Share this information with a friend and follow the blog that is changing people's lives by changing their perspectives!

Changing Daily,

Dr. VG