Relationships 101: Sort Don't Change

In relationships, we make a major error. We want to change people into who we want and need them to be. Changing others is not the answer. Nor do you have to become who someone else thinks you should be. If you find yourself in a relationship or potential relationship and they do not agree with you on some things that are important to you, then simply sort them into another category. It doesn't mean that they have no value in your life or that something is wrong with them. It simply means that they are wrong FOR YOU!

Instead of accepting that fact and appreciating it, we demonize them or say that something is wrong with them when it is simply who they are. I'll use me as an example. I like to have doors opened for me. Car doors, restaurant doors, building doors, doors! That's important to me. But I also like to fix my man's plate and make sure that he is taken care of at the table. That's equally important to me. Some would say that I expect too much, but I would say I expect what I expect and God has A man out there for whom that will not be too much. I only need 1! We make the mistake of trying to lower our expectations or standards because we feel a sense of desperation and others tell us it is too much. Remember, we are not changing we are sorting. Sorting for the type of man for whom that's not too much. The others may become good friends or not, but it doesn't mean something is wrong with them.

The lesson of sorting is one that I have definitely struggled with in my life. However, because of my unwillingness to sort, it has resulted in multiple marriages and divorces. Some would say something must be wrong with you and it has been. I've been unwilling to sort on the front end, but had to sort on the back end. Sort in the beginning and avoid a lot of unnecessary hurt and pain down the road. You can't be an eagle in a chicken coop and expect to find a lot of other eagles in the coop. Fly the coop and soar! Watch and see if you don't encounter another eagle...EVENTUALLY!

Our goal should be to allow people to be who they are and accept them. But we should also accept ourselves for who we are and embrace it. Sort don't change. Life will be a lot easier that way!

Sorting,

Dr. VG

For more timeless lessons and endless wisdom, listen to Dr. Glass on 880 AM WBMD Thursdays at 3:15 pm on "Nothing But the Truth w/ Carl Boyd, Jr." or online at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/the-big-mouth-880-am-wmdb. Visit http://www.drveronicaglass.com/ and purchase your copy of Use Your Buckets: Twelve Life Lessons for Success. This book was featured on The Balancing Act on Lifetime. See the interview by clicking The Balancing Act banner on http://www.drveronicaglass.com/. Share this information with a friend and follow the blog that is changing people's lives by changing their perspectives!